you're the exception

happy one month? sure. but that's just a generic date, silly.


i'll have you know physical coldness is emotionally transferable
i'll have you know burning bridges is easier with you around
i'll have you know the future freaks me out.

You're Fucking Amazing.

Oh Grow Up.

immature ass girls, immature parents. people need to learn how to grow the fuck up. i cant wait til i'm out of here.


someway, somehow, i need to learn how to expand my lungs. this is hard.


i was supposed to sleep early tonight, because i won't be getting much sleep tomorrow. and only a little more than a week til spring break. it's like times passing by so fast, but at the same time, not fast enough.

feels like ritalin

i love being this focused & productive.

saw a pretty cool rainbow today. it looked like it circled the sun completely, but i couldn't tell for sure. all i know is that staring at the sun for that long was definitely not good for my eyes. after school my friends and i hung out at the basketball courts. lucky i had a towel in my car. we lay in the sun for a couple hours, just relaxing. i had a quick little nap, then had to go to workshop. they were teaching us how to write our resumes, but i've already done that, so i just didn't pay much attention.

math test coming soon, and i'm way behind on math homework..

shoot you, shoot me

daylight savings time raped me in the butt. i had nine hours of sleep saturday night, and about six hours last night, but i pretty much died today.

shopping, chocolate overdose, drawing, rock band, tanning, and a sleepover. that was a pretty nice weekend. except for the fact that i didn't get any homework done. but it's not like i ever do it anyways.

so Doc tells me i should keep drawing, even though the ones i've been doing recently are crap. plus, i asked him about my fingers, and he says it could be early stages or trigger finger, but he's not an expert on that. sounds kind of scary, so i'm thinking i should take a break for now. i cant remember what we talked about, but i know it was really good stuff. eventually i'll remember.

maybe.

Keeping the Poison to Myself

for most people, talking about problems makes everything okay.
for most people, it makes things better.
i guess i'm just not most people.

most people don't have to live with a Censor.

Fictitious Nonfiction

oh Mr. Poe ♥

 yesterday i saw Alice In Wonderland. the storyline was a bit predictable, but i still liked it. it definitely wasn't what i had expected, plus there wasn't enough of Johnny in it. but i'm not complaining.
 
pillow talk. because it's easier for me to open up in the dark, because i can focus on wording my thoughts rather than trying to read the things that flash across your face. silly me, spent an hour typing a super long post & then shortening it down to less than 100 words.
+stopped drawing, but started writing again. it's not good, but it's a big improvement.
 
i call it ugly
i call it hopeless
i call it story of my life

there is light at the end of the tunnel, stay strong. you'll be fine.

awkward turtle.

god damn it. i always get myself into the worst possible situations. what now?

tell the truth: possibly lose a friend

tell a lie: possibly guilty conscience

do nothing: that was never an option

fuckfuckfuck. could you make it any more awkward for me? probably not. honestly, that was such a pussy move, i dont think i even want to be your friend anymore.

crazy weather today, plus hail that reminded me of snow/tapioca balls. and i saw a rainbow, or at least the end of it.

started a drawing session, but i can already tell this one's gonna be crap. fuck.

i need to stop cussing.

funny? it's fucking depressing.

I saw Geoffrey today.
i had finished my interview and my friend took me to CaliPhonia to celebrate the fact that i survived another one. we were sitting at the window seats, and i see hime walk in with a group of his friends. it felt like being socked in the gut. i recognized him right away, but i dont think he recognized me. he looked at me, and paused a second before looking away, but it might have just been my imagination. i wanted to say something, but i hesitated and realized it was better to just turn away. i've changed a lot since we last saw each other, but he still looks like the same kid i knew all those years ago. i wanted to ask him how his mother was doing, if she got any better. i wanted to ask about his sister, and whether or not their relationship had improved. so many questions ran through my head, but i knew i could never bring myself to ask. but mostly, i was just glad that he was alright, and still alive.

isn't it funny how two completely inseperable people can become complete strangers over the span of a few years?

we are all irrelevant.

you say tomato, i say potato. is that how the saying goes? scratch that, it's irrelevant. had a nice nap yesterday.

&econ's my super favorite class. it's based on common sense, so im doing wonderfully. too bad the rest of the class doesnt have much common sense, it's depressing really. the whole week i've been exchanging songs with the guy next to me. so basically, i get into class, put in my earphones, and go through his ipod. as usual, it was a bit dissapointing. there were lots and lots of songs, but they were all typical, mainstream songs, none of which were very interesting. i found one or two songs that i didnt know and actually liked though, so it wasn't a complete fail. but i have yet to find my music soulmate.

ants&anthills.

i am not an artist, i am a work of art

fuck it.

damaged goods

saturday was nice; i woke up early to go to the gym. then i got home and showered, and went straight to work. stayed there for 2 hours, and went shopping at westlake, to look for a birthday present. i couldnt find a god present, but bought myself another pair of black boots. they weren't that expensive, but i'm supposed to be saving money for LA. so the shopping was really unsuccesful, but i went home happy, because of the boots. i fail at life. went to pick up some friends, who agreed to meet up at david's house. i got there a little late, but they weren't even there yet. so i got to meet his parents and spoke some funny vietnamese to them. the rest of them finally came, and the original plan was to get to tanforan early, so i could try to find her a gift again. but we got there right on time, so i just gave up. after dinner, i was supposed to go to my friend's party, but i was just not in the mood. but i had promised that i would go, so i showed up for a bit. there wasn't as much people as i expected, but it was still typical. so i left and ended up at another friend's house.

his basement is amaaazing. there were 50 nerf guns, probably more, and hundreds of nerf darts. all of a sudden he decided to have an all out war, and we had a two on two. it was so unfair, because i barely knew how to use any of the guns, and neither did my amigo. i got shot in the head too many times, plus one of the giant missle things hit me right next to my eye and almost broke my nose. those guns are dangerous. got home late, and almost slept over, because i was so sleepy. but, i decided to suck it up and go home. it was the first time i fell asleep driving, i wouldn't recommend it. but when i got home, i couldnt sleep. it was a full moon, and it was crazy bright. at first, i thought one of my neighbors had left on their backyard light, because it was shining right into my bedroom. i looked out the window, and the moon was right there, illuminating everything like a huge spotlight. i pulled the curtain aside, and sat down by the window and just started drawing. the session didn't last long though, soon after i got into bed and knocked out.

sunday i tried to sleep in, but my stomache wouldn't let me so i had to wake up early and eat breakfast. it was really nice and sunny, so i called some people over and we had a barbeque. it was fun, but not a good idea, because i went to a buffet for dinner, but i wasnt hungry anymore. went home and continued drawing, then had a solid 8 hours of sleep.

apparently it wasn't enough, because i couldnt stop yawning all day today. i took off work so that i could stay for march madness, but it got postponed to next week. what a waste of my time. but at least i got to have some bonding time with my buddies. i got home around a little before 5, and didnt know what to do. i ended up doing a lot of math homework, since it's all due tomorrow. and there's a test tomorrow that's going to screw me over.

i've been crawling around on my hands & my knees,

just so i could see the world from a different perspective

but nothing changed, it's me that's defective.