I give up on the human race. People only dissapoint me, so I can't help but dissapoint them as well.
I've been distancing myself from the party circle. And those kids refuse to let me go without a fight. Kicking and scratching and the whole 500 yards and all. I've still been going to most of the parties, but I've been staying sober. For the most part. But I'm tired of it. Especially the guys. If you're going out to meet the guy of your dreams, you have a negative 1% chance of meeting him at a sleezy semi-underaged party. And I've learned that from experience. Those guys all want the same thing, and I refuse to hand it over to them. But the guys aren't the worse. It's the girls. Girls like me. Yeah, we're all buddy-buddy and whatnot. But you know that once you turn your back someone is talking shit about you and spreading their rumours. We only fake it to please the boys.
But that is a part of my past that I can never erase. Not matter how hard I try. And believe me, I'm still trying.
Onto the brighter side of things, wearing myself out physically is doing wonders for me mentally. I went to play football today. It was really fun, because I actually scored two touchdowns. I'm so proud of myself! Also, I went swimming afterward, but failed miserably and almost drowned because my foot had been hurt during the football game.
When I went home, I recieved some unexpected calls from unexpected people, people that I don't ever want to see or talk to for the rest of my life. Like I said, I'm trying to bury my past and live a healthier life. So there was shouting. And cursing. And tears. Like a mini-soap opera. But I sweated out the drama with some good old fahsioned pilates. Working out always clears my head. Three more days left of summer, and my calendar is packed with last minute attempts to savor summer while planning for the school year as well. If only I had one more week of summer. But hey, everything's looking better and I can't let the bad things hold me down.