Yes, it hurts like a bitch. But the only thing you can do is wait it out. And slowly, ever so slowly, things will get better.
And then one day without knowing it you'll have peace with his memory. It will come to you without fanfare or lights or silver trumpets. Just a simple understanding of yourself. You can't ever erase him completely; he'll always be a scar, a stigmata, which, from time to time, will bleed a drop here and there. He'll forever be a part of you, good, bad, whatever. Your heart will tell you it was never meant to be; too much distance between his out of control lifestyle and your longing for a peaceful life.
--Nathan

So now I hold on to this piece of advice. For dear life. Or else otherwise, I just might not make it back alive.