i always say that i can never feel guilty, because i lack a conscience. but maybe i was just lying to myself. like how i lied to you. i thought, maybe not telling the truth made things easier. but no, that's just me being stupid and stubbornly in denial. the truth is rarely enough. so why do i believe that lying is any better? im an avoider, even when confronted and backed into a corner.
i can lie my way out of anything.
it kills me knowing that i lied, but this is simply how i function. asking me to stop lying is like asking me to stop breathing.
i finally learned how to play the game and you come in and throw everything the fuck off.